living vicariously through myself

So hilarious.

Store Wars.

Last night, I succumbed to the marketing genius that is Mark Burnett and the reality show prowess that is Rob and Ambah, and I watched the two hour special “Rob and Amber Get Married.” Now, don’t get all mad if you Tivoed it and haven’t watched it yet. I’m not giving anything away here. The ending is in the title—Rob and Amber do, in fact, get married.

I just have a few issues with the hour and forty-five minutes before the actual marrying part.

Let’s start with the title. Pure genius! Who thought that one up—give that man or woman a promotion! I wonder what the alternate options were—“Rob and Amber Negotiate their Nuptials”? “Rob and Amber Mitigate Marriage”?

Well, the best line of the whole special came in the first ten minutes. Upon meeting Colin Cowie, special events planner to the likes of Oprah, Rob says “I don’t think Colin and I go to the same kinds of bahs (bars), if you know what I mean.” Rob is duly impressed with Colin’s fashion flair, which Colin himself would describe in three words—fab. U. lous. (Add the snaps in there yourself!) Rob and Colin soon become close wedding planning buds, and Rob affectionately refers to him as CC.

Speaking of CC—CeCe Winans, that is. The serenading at the wedding ceremony was nice, but the parade to the reception was downright cheesy. Rob and Ambah kept eyeing CeCe, all “Are you gonna keep walking next to us, singing the whole way? Are you still walking next to us? Dammit, man, are you following us all the way to the honeymoon suite?” Yep, in fact, he was. The wedding guests followed behind, in a sort of Broadway tribute to weddings in small villages. It smacked of Brigadoon.

The scene showing the cutting of the cake was a little Disney Princess-ish. The resort in the background looked like a Disney castle, and the fireworks going off added to the cheesy spectacle. When the dancers and carnival revelers came in, we made the switch from Disney to Epcot. Meanwhile, Ambah’s veil looked like a piece of toilet paper stuck to her head. If any of her bridesmaids were worth a damn they would have ‘accidentally’ stepped on it and ripped it out of her hair, so that she wouldn’t have to wear that monstrosity.

At the reception, some famous (according to CC) trumpeter played Rob and Ambah’s first dance song. You know you’re desperate when you can’t even get Kenny G, and you have to settle for his lesser-known trumpet-playing cousin.

A couple of shots of the reception showed Ray and Deana, everyone’s favorite Amazing Race Couple. And by everyone, I mean Rob and Ambah, because Ray and Deana self destructed and further spurred Rob and Ambah towards (almost) victory. The shots of Ray and Deana weren’t subtitled, but I can read lips, and it was obvious that Ray was muttering under his breath, “Dammit, Deana, why couldn’t you score us a completely paid-for cheesed-out wedding? Now get back on that horse!” Wow. A reality show titled Ray and Deana Get Married might be a little more suspenseful, because who knows if they actually would make it to the altar?

So, there you have it. This was CBS’s lame attempt to recreate the wonder and magic of Trista (The Bachelorette) and Ryan’s wedding. It failed miserably. It was cheesy, chock full of sponsorship, and overly scripted. But in the end it was perfectly Rob and Ambah. Even with a million dollars to their name, they scored a free wedding and a honeymoon to boot. With the wedding behind them, they can now grab their little Travelocity gnome buddy, and jet off on the 73 trips that they won during the Amazing Race. Stay tuned in five years for the next special-- Rob and Amber Get Invitro and Birth Septuplets, brought to you in conjunction with Ty Pennington's Extreme Makeover Home Edition, in which bullhorn-wielding Ty adds a wing onto Rob and Ambah's Pensacola house to make room for the 7 kids.

Dear Abe:

I recieved your email today with the subject line Armenian Genocide Plagues Ankara 90 Years On. While I appreciate you keeping me updated and informed about world events, I wish that you would keep your right-wing German propoganda to yourself. Maybe you could just forward me a silly joke once in awhile, or just drop me an email to say hello.

While I think you are certainly the best blogger in attendance at Sarah G's birthday party, and I was more than ready to tell that girl who thought blogs sucked just how freakin' awesome yours was, I have to say that I am bit confused by this turn of events. From musician to German fundamentalist-- who would've thought?

Auf Wiedersehen,
Sarah

Weather.com is reporting that it is 82 degrees outside, mostly cloudy, with 45% humidity.

I would like to report that in my office, it is 80 degrees, mostly flourescent, with a slight breeze from my fan.

Today, I [finally!] sent in my deposit to The George Washington University. Grad school, here I come!

: : : : :

A couple of years ago, when I was feeling very trapped and claustrophobic, I would make lists of all of the things that I could do if I left my job and ventured out into the world. I consoled myself during those dark months with the immense possbilities that could be had if I chose to leave. I reminded myself that the decisions that I had made, that had put me where I was, were not irrevocable. I could always change my mind, and when I did, the possibilities would be endless.

Fast forwarding a few years... Endless possibilities are fantastic, but it's a bit like gorging on ice cream. After awhile, the sweetness isn't so sweet. It's just sticky, it gives you a stomachache, and you wonder why on earth you ever thought that eating a whole pint of Ben and Jerry's was a good idea.

There’s freedom in the decision. There’s freedom found in the closing of doors, the turning down of offers, the step towards the future. With too many choices I flounder. But I had to flounder first, to be sure that the decision was what I wanted. And it was.

I’m packing up my stuff. I’m picking out furniture at IKEA.

I’m trading in my Saab for a pair of comfortable shoes and an ipod.

I’m leaving the world of non-profit, of cross-cultural experiences, of fabulous co-workers for the world of immense debt, intense learning, and new adventures to be had.

I am happy. I am scared.

Goodbye, Atlanta. Hello, D.C.

: : : : :

I used to live with someone in this photo. I'll give you a hint-- that person's first name is not Laura, George, or Vonette.

Today, I had a lunchtime rendezvous with him.

I love how he sees a beauty that's there, even if I don't, even if no one else does. He makes it his job to bring it out.

I love how he caresses me, running his fingers through my hair.

I love how he focuses his undivided attention on me, and me only.

I love how he dances around singing Diana Ross and seventies disco.

I love how he knows all of my "layers."

Eric... he's just my style(ist.)

Have I told you how much I love Anne Lamott? L-O-V-E LOVE her! She's so refreshing, witty, and thought-provoking.

Love this quote: The opposite of faith is not doubt: It is certainty. It is madness. You can tell you have created God in your own image when it turns out that he or she hates all the same people you do. The first holy truth in God 101 is that men and women of true faith have always had to accept the mystery of God's identity and love and ways. I hate that, but it's the truth.

To read the whole article, click here. Run the day pass (a short commercial) to view.

I just got home from a couple's baby shower. There are two words in that sentence that have little to no value to me-- 'couple' and 'baby'. I hope to one day be a part of a couple, and perhaps, one day, in the very very very distant future, I will consider a baby, but that is so far off of my radar right now.

Anyway. So, I went to this shower with a mixture of apprehension and anticipation. I knew that a lot of old college friends would be there, but I also knew... that a lot of old college friends would be there. You can never be too sure of how those things will pan out.

Background on this shower and the particular peer group attending... The guys attending were all fraternity brothers of the dad-to-be. There were also a bunch of girls-- namely, the wives of those frat guys, and many of those girls were in the same sorority. So, here comes the awkwardness. Whenever I'm with this group, I naturally gravitate towards the guys. They are the ones that I was friends with in college. I've known many of them since fall of my freshman year, I've known most of them longer than their wives have, and I've even had life experiences with some of them that their wives were not a part of. [I'm talking study abroad here, people, and road trips, and dumb college pranks that involved theft. Nothing of any highly indecent nature.] I even dated the dad-to-be for a short time freshman year. So, anyway, my history is with the guys, my jokes are with the guys, and my natural inclination is to hang with the guys.

It's always just a little bit weird. I know I should talk more with the women. But I am not on the same page as most of them are. Sure, I had a few short little chit-chats. And I am reasonably good friends with two of the wives-- one being the mom-to-be. So I tried to make the female rounds. But I mostly chatted with the guys, catching up, remembering stupid stuff from college. In all, it was a fun, if rather uncomfortable-at-times time.

Oh, and I always have to be a bit naughty and subversive, even at showers for innocent little newborn babes, so I gave them this book-- Underwear Do's and Don'ts. I promise, it's not bad at all, if read in context. It's just the phrases like "Do wear polka-dot underware to a party. Don't wear plain ones." that get your mind wandering in the wrong direction.

I just posted this on applyingtograd today, but would love advice/insight on what to do from anyone who reads this. You probably know which school and which city, but I didn't name them in this post, just because... I don't know. Just because.

( Freaking Out )

I love technology, but not as much as you, you see...

Behold, what happens when two fabulous internet entities combine to make one, super-powered web site--
Craigslist + Google = Awesome!

But I still love technology... always and forever.

The Last Day Church of God, Inc. has recently updated their sign. It now reads:



Um, yeah. I don't get it.

( U.S.A. 2, Guatemala 0 )

Here's a great article for keithlane and leslielaverne-- a humorous look at Ljubljana.

Also, I will buy a coffee for the first person that reads this and calls me and gives me the correct pronunciation of "Ljubljana"-- the only catch is that you have to be someone who has never visited Slovenia. Oh, and you have to be someone that I would want to have coffee with. But I would guess that most of you are.

I'm at a crossroads. That's a place I haven't been in quite awhile... I've been knocking on doors. Some have opened. Some have shut. Some I'm still waiting on. But right now, I am standing in the doorway of a good place-- and there are doors open to other good places. I have to decide if I will walk through them or not.

Don't you hate people who whine about having to choose between something good and something else good? "Gosh, I had such a hard time getting ready this morning. I couldn't decide if I should wear my Jimmy Choos or my Stuart Weitzman's!" "It's always so hard-- should I drive the Jag to work, or the Porsche?"

Well, I'm not quite that extreme. But my life is headed towards choices right now. I'm realizing that it is much easier to take a huge leap of faith when it means walking away from a place that you hate or circumstances that make you unhappy. I always long for those places in life where you get to choose between good and good. And I think that's where I'm at right now. It is hard to walk away from what is comfortable and secure and clean and bright, and head off to a place and a life that has great potential... but that is also unknown. For the first time in a while, I am really satisfied and happy with my job, my home, my friends, my social calendar, (well, that last one could be a little busier). But satisfaction is more than just a momentary thing-- it's a state of mind that I need to constantly strive for, regardless of my location and circumstance.

So... I'll be making some choices in the upcoming weeks. I'll keep you posted.

Until then, happy birthday leslielaverne! spunti, thanks again for the CD-- it has given me many quality music moments on the road these past few weeks. I love #7 and I love #18-- as well as all the others before, after, and inbetween! Oh, and I got my 'reading is sexy' t-shirt in the mail-- I plan to wear it on Friday, if the weather's warm. Yay!

Titles of all of the little journal-entry-bits that are floating around in my head right now, but that I haven't actually had time to pour out of my brain and onto the internet:

My Trip to Cuba
New Arrival
That Side of Town
Aveda Gayda
Calendar Girl

spunti, thanks so much for the mix cd-- I can't wait to listen to it. It definitely does look eclectic!

Been a crazy week, but hopefully I will catch up with some stuff here soon.

But wait-- now I hear subwoofers going from the parking lot across the street. The Vespa-esque scooter is still passing by occasionally, but now it is the soprano overtone to the subwoofers' constant bass line. Yep, I'm no longer confused-- I'm definitely back in Hot-lanta.

The window is open. It's nearly 70 degrees today. Sunny, warm, but with a cool breeze blowing. It couldn't be more perfect. The wind is sweet and fresh. Things are blooming and beautiful.

I hear a scooter go by on the street outside my window. The unmistakable sound of a Vespa motor zooms down the hill and back up in the other direction. It sounds like, feels like I'm in Croatia.

But, oh, wait, I'm not. I'm at my desk. Still at work. And I still have a lot that I need to accomplish today. Damn.

On Friday, our tv suddenly carried many fewer channels-- hundreds fewer, in fact. The only channels we get now are DISH weather, Pay Per View previews, infomercials, and the Chinese culture channel. I've purchased my AbLounger and I've caught up on my Chinese current events, and now I am really longing for regular tv. Local channels even-- we don't get them either!

So I called the lovely "customer service "help"-line" yesterday. When I finally spoke to a real, live person, he informed me that new smartchips (thing you insert into the receiver to get your channels) had been sent out, and we needed that to make it work. I informed him that I hadn't gotten the smartchips. He said that they had been sent to Arkansas-- which is not as crazy as it sounds, since my roommate/landlady lives in Arkansas and the bill is sent to her. "Okay," I told him, "I get that, but we need them to be sent here, to Atlanta. "But they were sent to Arkansas." Yeah, I get that, but the recievers and the people who need the cards to watch tv are in Atlanta. You provide the service to a house in Atlanta-- isn't that where the smartchips should go?

I get the mix-up-- it's not crazy-- but when I asked Mr.Customer Service to send new chips to the Atlanta address, he said "Well, can't you just have your roommate send you the ones that went to Arkansas?" Thanks. Thanks for the help. Yeah, we'd have her do that, but she never even got them there, it turns out. So needless to say, I had her call back to deal with the "customer service" people. Hopefully they will get on it and mail us those things ASAP, because I need Matt Lauer and Katy Couric in the mornings. I NEED them.